The return of the supermarket game

Well here we are and it's a new year - and a new phone. That can only mean one thing - the return of the supermarket game!

Okay, so what have we here? Goodness me, I must be a bit rusty. This is awful. I have lost my touch!

In fact I think I won't even bother rating this and pretend it was just a warm up and that. Perhaps I'll say it was never meant to be posted on here anyhow. That's it. It was all a mistake. Don't tell anyone, okay? It'll be our little secret.

Saving you money every day

There is something reassuring about the slogan, "Saving you money every day". Saving money is something we all need to be doing, especially in these dark financial times we are suffering from.

That's why - good news! ASDA seem to stock lots of cheap bits of folded card with a joke printed on it for a few pounds. I can never choose one. They all look the same to me. I used to hand - draw birthday cards for people, but it seems you need to have a barcode on the back in order for it to be acceptable these days.

So anyway, there I was at ASDA. Tixi was looking at cards, so I was able to experiment with composition and framing, getting the light just right. She is a wonderful model. Very patient. I didn't even need to ask her to look at the cards for hours on end - she just did what came naturally.

It is amazing though how when you go out to buy a unique and thoughtful gift for someone - perhaps a cuddly toy? A cow? That would be novel.

ASDA stock everything you could possibly want, if that is the case. Although the 'unique' part is in question.

Composition: It took me a long time, but I think I nailed this. You see those Greeks? They had this thing called the Golden mean, and I used it in this photo: The graceful arch of the back. The Golden Triangle; High contrast of the subject; there is Repeated Form in there: You may notice perspective lines MADE UP OF repeated cows. I bet that is a first in the world of photography. Google it and prove me wrong, then. It's all in there, so: 
Pose: If I had reversed this pose in photoshop, and coloured Tixia in red, it would make a great Kellogs "Special K" advert, I reckon (especially if they are wanting to break into that as yet untapped 'hunchback demographic'. 

A flying start to the new year, and it's looking to be a good one too. My final thought: ASDA is so dedicated to this new slogan, "Saving you money every day", they even give you a print out of how much money they have saved you on that day. Well, I keep those little bits of paper. So far, I've saved a small fortune.

One day, I'm going to cash them all in and buy a Morgan 3-wheeler.

Vitamin Pink

I'm sure that vitamins are for women. I'm not trying to be sexist here, but I really don't understand them. For example, if I need vitamin C, I'll eat an orange. Or a kiwi. Or maybe drink a glass of orange juice or something. But not ladies. At least, not my lady. No, Tix is proof of this, peering at the vast array of, I have to say, very colourful bottles. I think she is interested in the pink label vitamins. And before you say it, yes, that does look pink to me. For me, and I think I speak for most men, Pink represents a whole spectrum of colours that women are actually capable of appreciating, like fuschia, salmon, magenta, rose and possibly even mauve, although I have my suspicions that that last one doesn't really exist.

On another subject - look at the bottom row - there are some HUGE bottles down there. I've always thought those bottles must be for men. Weight gain? Muscle generating pills? Call me sexist, but they sound like Man Pills. (Incidentally, I have always wondered if those massive bottles have really big pills inside them?)

Composition: I like the way the shelves colour is sharply contrasted with the stark black coat: 
Pose: The leg pose is good, but I was a little late with the button on my rubbishy old phone. A second earlier and I'd have had the perfect pose. Sorry chaps, it's only a 

Nice 'n Easy

Sometimes we are looking at the products, but sometimes I have a sneaking suspicion they are looking back at us. It's not often you get to take reflective photos - and this almost started a "mirror phase" for me - but there is a lack of mirrors in most supermarkets. I'm striving to get a shot reflected from one of those smaller supermarkets which have mirrors in their produce aisles, presumably to reflect a bit more light onto their genetically modified tomatoes to make them shine a bit brighter, or to make it look like their shelves have twice as much stock on them.

Pose: Can't really classify this for pose, because it's just a reflection: 
Composition: It's almost good...

Vaguely Nazi

I don't know if it is just me, but there seems to be something a little Hitlerian about this. Is it the way the bottles are lined up with such precision? The repeated form of the trolleys, like a row of tanks trundling on their way into battle? I just can't work it out.



Composition:  Not bad, but it is a little bit cramped. I feel. Too much foreground.
Pose: Ah - that's what it is. It's the little bag. When I was a kid, those tiny plastic German soldiers had bags like that.  For the nostalgia.

My brother used to be the Germans. They had machine guns. I had the British...they all seemed to have their bayonet equipped rifles pointing up in the air, and hats with foliage on them. The game was that you could shoot whatever your gun was aimed at. My troops didn't stand a chance.

That's why Dad's gone to Iceland...

As I previously mentioned, I'm extremely single, so my shopping "partner" tends to be whoever I'm shopping with at the time.

This time, I went to Iceland with my dad. This is Hounslow Iceland. Possibly the world's wrst laid out shop. The aisles are narrow. the store is miniscule. The staff are zombies. Trying to get a picture where there isn't a bag of chips casually kicked under a freezer or a couple of policemen arresting a shoplifter is a feat in itself. Trying to get a photo of my subject in "stealth mode", when you have to stand two feet away from him, quickly is a challenge in itself.

But I gave it a go anyway.

Also, a funny story about that place. I was in Hounslow last year and was approached by a woman who asked me if I knew where Iceland was. I told her that she could probably get a flight from Heathrow. ha. ha. ha. What did you want? You're reading a blog about covertly photographing people shopping. You want funny? go find Bill Bailey on Twitter or something.

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Shortbread Biscuits.
Note the boxes and crap all over the floor. The whole shop is like this. And it all smells funny, too.
So, moving swiftly on.

POSE: Nothing terribly special about it, really. He's just picking up some biscuits. The only thing I like about it was the timing, I think. This was a challenging one to get as I had to stand so close, with my phone camera not being too fantastic at these shots.
 I'm only giving this 3/10.

COMPOSITION: Terrible. The place looks like a bombsite. The product is blurry. The lighting is atrocious (He's not an albino, honest). The only redeeming feature is that I managed to get the picture almost exactly 50/50 split vertically, half shelves, half him.
This also gets 3/10. For a grand total of a woeful 6/20.

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 TOAD IN THE HOLE
Damn that trolley! I did like this strange effect where he's reaching into the freezer. The guy in the background is reaching into the freezer. The guy beyond him is reaching into the freezer. Almost like pointing a webcam at your monitor and playing with the perpetuality parallax... Or like some kind of choreographed dance routine.

The let downs being the trolley, bread trays and all the other crap. And again, the lighting.

So, POSE, I'm actually chuffed with it. I'm awarding myself a whopping 7/10.
I like his right arm holding the dreezer open. He means business. He's MARCHING into the freezer and TAKING that which is rightfully his: The prize: A Toad In The Hole. Yum.

COMPOSITION:  Yeah, the recursive Shopper element. I really like that and I believe it's a first in the game. You can't set it up. I'm thinking the trolley in the foreground might not be such a woe afterall, as it mirrors the bread trays further down Sod it. I'm taking 8 points/10 for it. Probably WAY too generous, but if you knew how hard it is to get ANY decent photos in that hellhole, you'd want eight out of ten for it as well!

Totalling 15/20. Not bad at all.

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Life is empty without the supermarket game

I bought a phone charger! So, I am finally able to get to the photos I took before that dreadful tidying up session that rendered my phone useless. (Think the wife had something to do with it, actually...) Anyhow, a trip to Spitalfields market (great opportunity, wasted), and I came across a phone charger for the rubbishy phone that I have.

Many thanks to all of you who sent in phones, iPhones and a gadget called a "bloggerphone" (haven't got round to taking it out of the box yet, but it looks fun) - I found the monthly charges for all of them a little overwhelming, and am glad to get back to my awful little excuse for a phone with the pay as you go talkplan and the 2 pixel photos.

Here is a photo I took which explores what shopping has been like without playing THE SUPERMARKET GAME.